Proving quotes are worse when taking out of context.

• Introducing the worlds first Marxist Metal band, "Wild Stalins".
• A beard is not just something you grow, it's a commitment. I had a friend who shaved off his goatee and, BAM, that day he was I.D.'d.
• R.E.M. is the unmaking of a Viking.
• Whatever doesn't kill you, failed miserably.
• Even hippies hate Emo
• I thought I was in love once... Turns out it was just gas.
• Sorry, I've been selling my motor skills on eBay.
• Michael Moore has had more hot meals than you've had... well, hot meals.
• The French have no word for victory.
• I've never found anyone that new what race Yoda was. I believe he's half-man, half-cabbage.
• Midges are only capable of reproducing after feasting on human blood. Just like the Baldwins
• "Tyre Hammer", like a tyre iron but more violent.
• I find that I can barely read writing from the other side of a room. Yet I can pick out people in a crowd from a mile away. Maybe it's because I read too many "Where's Waldo" books as a child OR maybe people are 100 times the size of a letter.
• Whenever I hear a shoplifting alarm go off, I tend to jump. Not that I've got a guilty conscience. It's just for a moment; I believe the store is reversing.
• When committing suicide, it is said; "shooting yourself up through the jaw is just as likely to kill you, as through the back of the head". If you were using a speargun, this method also looks cooler.
• You can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look west, and with the right kind of eyes you can make it look like you're crushing a man's head between thumb and forefinger. SQUISH!!!
• I don't get self-defence laws. Since when did 'mace' mean pepper spray?
• If it's just my reflection, then how come he's waving back at me?
• I can make a game using nothing more than Notepad.
• Kill many birds with one tactical nuclear strike.
• Damned, he has the black plague, he has to be quarantined. Coincidently, my swords name is quarantine.
• 'Road Kill', isn't that just past tense for pedestrian.
• Patience is a girls name.
• There is no such thing as lying. Only diplomacy.
• I wish I had suicidal tendencies. Then every crossing's a zebra crossing.
• You can't complete Oblivion. It completes YOU.
• You can't spell "conspiracy" without "piracy".
• Organ or orGUN.
• I'm neither diurnal nor nocturnal, I'm somewhere in between. Unconscious, thats it.
• Legend has it, that if you say "I like the Smashing Pumpkins" 3 times into a mirror. Spandau Ballet runs up and touches your bum.
• I don't like the term 'Arsonist'. I prefer 'Self-Motivated Pyro-Technician'.